Loss of friendship

You know the friends that you used to hang out with, back when you were in Secondary school...or Polytechnic... maybe even in University (if you have been into one).

Once upon a time, you were so so close because everyone of you have a common goal and that is to study and graduate and then move on to the next phase of your life. There’s a common interest between your group of friends.

And then you slowly transit yourself into Adulthood. Everyone has their own career, got married, build their own family and not forgetting having an extension of family (read: in-laws). Simply said, your priorities shifted. Everyone is no longer available at any given time because of commitments.

But how far can these friendships that you once have “pass” the test of time?

Everyone is slowly drifting away......and just like that, you’re not close anymore.

I don't know.

People are naturally thinking for themselves and if they/we feel that others are not putting them as a priority, no matter what the reason, the relationship will somehow die down after some time.

Eg. Whenever I told some of my friends that I can't hang out because we need to be at the hospital for my MIL or that I need to rest over attending an event (hey sometimes we need to prioritise ourselves you know), you can feel the feeling of upset in their reply or the expected "Oh" because they had a feeling you're gonna cook up some "excuses". But if your friends don't understand your situation and take it with a pinch of salt by understanding, is the friendship still worth pursuing?

Hmmm...

Motherhood

I sit at the corner of my room, staring at the blank wall right in front of me as angry tears streamed down my face. Is there a manual specially for Motherhood?

My patience runs thinner by the day.
I don’t know what I’m doing.

He cries.

Is it the diaper?
Is he hungry?
Is he asking me to play with him?
Is he colicky?

Checked.

He is still crying.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

And then I sobbed… because I think I have failed as a Mother.

He stopped crying…

He listened to me sobbing. Crawled over and let out a laugh, probably thinking I was making funny noises for him.

I stopped crying after that laughter.

At the end of the day, when it works – it works.

But…
I still don’t know what I’m doing.

Do you?

It's been more than a year

It's 3:29 am and I finally managed to sneak out of my room to do up this entry. At such an hour, ikr... Haha.

Just an hour ago, while I was tossing and turning on my bed (no thanks the final trimester's uncomfortable sleeping positions problems), as usual, I browsed through my phone apps and decided to check my mails - work mails, personal mails... Usually it's just one of those subscribed mails that I end up deleting anyway. But yeah, 2am seems like a good time to do housekeeping haha.

One of the subscribed mails I received would be the one from JobStreets and instead of deleting it off immediately like what I always do, I opened the mail, scrolled the job listings since (I had all the time in the world to do it), and then...deleted it off, lol.

Not like I can apply for any of this anyway, I thought.

Truth to be told, there are times that I do miss being "useful" and "needed" at work. Rushing for deadlines, learn something new. It gives you the adrenaline rush and satisfaction once you completed the task at hand.

But of course, I don't want to fall into the complaining trap that being a Stay-at-Home Mum (SAHM) is all boring and depressing. (Well yes, there are times where we fall and crumble, but we must always remember to get back up :))

Comparing to those times that I work full time, I find that I have more family time and that I can plan my own time, especially since Mr. J is working on shifts.

Like the other day, I needed to run my errands to get ribbons and flowers for my clients' trays - we could do so on a weekday afternoon where the train is less crowded.

I can also witness Adriaan's milestones.

Like how the other day, he surprised us by adjusting the food's orientation in his hand. We do a mix of feeding him and baby-led weaning (BLW). So for those food that requires feeding, like rice with meat, I will feed him, and those that allow him to have a hold and explore the texture of the food, we let him have a go at it.

He was sitting quietly and enjoying this plain bread that we passed to him. Instead of putting the whole bread into his mouth, he tore it in bite sizes and inserts them into his mouth. Sure, the bread crumbs fall all over and messed up the place lol, but to witness him doing so, is an amazing feeling. He probably picked that up from those times that we tore his bread into bite sizes and feed him.

He also learned to adjust the orientation of the food once the surface of the food visible to him (in his hand) is no longer there. He would put the food down, pick it back up with his thumb and index finger and then back into his mouth. Children are really smart (if we allow them the space to do so)! :')

So yeah, back to where we were, one of the things that I do to keep myself feeling productive and happy is to have a to-do list at the start of the day and then tick those that I managed to complete and celebrate a little by having rests in between/have a favourite snack/play Bubble Mania. Haha.

I guess being a SAHM pretty alright... if given some me-time to have a "short escape" once in a blue moon hahahhaaha. Well, all of us actually do need a me-time every now and then to pamper/reward ourselves. And I'm already thinking what to do this coming week as we speak :)

Perhaps purge the refrigerator?
Start packing the hospital bag?
Start packing our items into the empty boxes - for moving (oh, we wont be moving to our new place so soon insya'Allah)
And of course, finish my work :)

I guess that sums it up; being a SAHM is not so bad after all.

Alhamdulillah.

Me-Time

Being with a baby at home 24/7 has made me turn into this...person who wants her me-time badly whenever her husband comes home from work.

But everytime he comes home, he gets to lock himself up in the bathroom, sit on the toilet bowl, use his handphone and have his own me-time. It can be as long as an hour. Sometimes, I don't even know that he's home until I sent him a "Where are you?" text and he replies saying that he's already in the bathroom -.-

Heyyy... Even I don't get that luxury!

Whenever I use the toilet, I have to leave it open because a boy full of tears will come crawling and watch me do whatever I am doing on the toilet bowl. There is never a peaceful me-time. There's alwayssss an audience. I also now understand what it means to hide myself and enjoy my snack because I can never eat in front of him - Adriaan will crawl as fast as a lightning, rest both his hands on my thigh and stare at the food, waiting for me to offer him. Of course I can't, because its adult snacks (think: Twisties, cheese rings - you know all the salty stuff heh).

So there was this one fine day when my husband came home from work and did the norm. Took his towel, closed the door, used his handphone and enjoyed his me-time. During the first 5 minutes of his time in there (I swear even I don't get my own 5 minutes of peace like he does #unfair), I opened the bathroom door and told him, "Please be fast and don't take your own sweet time", and closed the door back while he is still seated in the bathroom, using his handphone. You know, gotta be understanding because he brings "food on the table".

As I made my way to the kitchen, I thought... "Ok, no. This is unfair". Yeah, its one of those days I refuse to give in. So I went back to the bathroom door, pushed it open, confiscated his phone and told him, "Sorry, this is a luxury that I don't even get to enjoy". Of course he struggled to give me his phone but I succeeded and then I heard him utter some grumbling. But right after that, I could hear the sound of the shower. *Mission to get him to not waste any time in the bathroom - accomplished*

Call it a resentment or anything you want. But sometimes, you just wish men can be a bit more...(sorry my brain refuse to work at this hour #timecheck; 3:40am).

I know it is tiring for him at work and he wants that me-time to decompress. But hey, at least he has that hour journey home in the bus to do so whereas for me, its Adriaan twenty-four-seven round the clock.

So, Mr Husband. I am sorry when you see me at home catching up on Lion Mums or playing Bubble Mania on my phone. Like you, I just need my me-time and the best time to do it is...only when you're around. :) Otherwise, its just me, the never ending housechores, a hyperactive Adriaan who messes up the room, and an active baby in my tummy.

May we be given strength to go through this

As we make our way to the hospital now (yes, I am blogging through my phone #catchingup), I just wanna say how amazed I am with my husband at times.

It doesn’t matter when he comes home from work. Be it after his day or night shift, he will make it a point to call his Mum and ask about her well being or rest for a while and make his way to the hospital just to accompany her and give her the support she needs.

I can tell how tired he is at times, but to him, being tired is not his priority as long as he gets to spend as much time as he can with his Mum. Such an amazing man you are. I am not sure if I can have such strength to go through that.

Sometimes, when his Mum is back at her home, he will ask what she feels like eating and will go and buy it for her right after his night shift and ensure she gets to eat well.

The love he has for his Mum. :’)

I have to admit that as much as I need his attention during this pregnancy (pregnancy is not easy ya), I have to understand and brave through this period. There are times where I have to be left alone at home, managing Adriaan while he is out at the hospital, accompanying his mum. There is this particular period where Adriaan was down with diarrhoea for about 3 weeks and that would mean changing of his diapers about 8-10 times a day. It was nightmare because everytime I bend down to change his diaper, my tummy would hurt a little, because I can’t squat due to my condition. Nevertheless, it had to be done anyway.

I pray that Allah will grant us strength to go through this difficult period and recovery for my mother in law. In addition, I pray that Allah grant my husband His Highest Paradise for all the things that he does for his mum. Not everyone is willing to do what he does. And for that, I really respect this man a lot. <3

Thank you Allah for loaning this man to be my husband.

Wisdom in the Quran

Last weekend, I attended a Duola Workshop held at Jalan Sultan. Cut long story short (I might share about the birth talk in another blog post should time permits. Insya'Allah), one of the topics covered was wisdom from Allah in the Quran via surah Maryam.

Maryam A.S. (Radi Allahu anha) was not touched by any man and had conceived Nabi Isa (PBUH) and she even went through labour alone, without anyone beside her. No husband, no midwife, no doula - absolutely no one.

Masya'Allah.

The strength of a woman.

Which brings me to the next point.

Few weeks ago, we agreed to let my mum look after Adriaan when I'm in labour so Mr. J can be with me in the labour ward. But after what happened last weekend - my Dad fed Adriaan a huge spoonful of ice cream, with the ice cream given by my mum, and that caused Adriaan to itch all over his legs till it bleeds tsk - we decided that they are not the best Caregivers around. Whyyyy do grandparents do things against the parents' wishes?!! I already told my parents 101 times that Adriaan has food allergy and it still falls on deaf ears. My Dad could still crack a joke and asked Adriaan whether the ice cream was tasty. -.- Seriouslyyyyy....

So anyway, the next best alternative is to be in labour with Mr. J outside at the waiting area with Adriaan until I have safely delivered.

If Maryam could do it alone, insya'Allah, I'll be able to do it too. Aamiin.

Note to self: You need to EAT!

Remember the other time I mentioned that my mum bought us some ready-made paste and food so that I've always something to eat?

My mum and I had a talk recently. Everytime Mr. J is on day shift (which meant I'll be alone for 12 hours with Adriaan at home), my mum would pack some food on her way home and drop by my place to pass it to me - just to ensure I have my stomach filled. Fact; if she don't do that, I'll most probably be left starving for the whole day until Mr. J comes home from work (which will be around 8.30~9pm-ish).

Looking at the situation, my mum suggested that we only shift to our new place next year before Ramadhan instead of beginning of 2018 (which was what Mr. J and I planned to - because its not good to leave the home vacant for too long ya). Her reason was that since the place I'm currently staying in, is closer to hers - it would be much easier to send food to me, compared to my new place which is much much further.

Background: Even though my new place is located at Hougang, it's the further part of Hougang whereas my sister's place (Buangkok) is closer to my parent's place.

"Baru satu anak je kau dah tak makan. Nanti ada lagi satu lagi. Kau ingat senang eh nak jaga dua anak?"

K. Mums say the darndest things but the kind where it knock some sense into you. lolol.

So I've been brainstorming on the easiest way to prepare home-cooked food. You know, proper food so I don't starve and risk getting gastric all over again.

I asked Mr. J on his opinion on what's the easiest approach that I can have proper food, and his answer was "I bought biscuits... bread... eat that lah". "Ermm no, you don't understand. If I'm gonna try breastfeeding again, I'll need to have proper food. The part reason my supply dipped is that I don't eat well. I noticed that my supply dipped after my confinement food supply ended".

Of course I can't expect him to understand that, because he's a man, right? Sigh.

Even though I have blended garlic, red onion and ginger to make cooking efficient, I guess it's not enough yet. I planned to do frozen food packs, but the prep work behind all the frozen food pack will take the whole day and looking at how occupied Mr. J is now, with running to and fro from the hospital, his back to back events, it wont turn out well.

I guess another approach that I'll try is:
To cook whatever gravy or soup the night before, have it refrigerated, and then at the same time, thaw the frozen poultry/seafood and then continue the final part of cooking the next day?

Ok, will try that - insya'Allah.

Hopefully this is much better? Please make this work, dear me. You need to EAT!

On a related note, I really wonder how other (super)mums do it... Hmmmm...

How do you see yourself in 1/3/5 years' time?

A question I don't like answering when it's thrown to me. I don't even know what to eat later tonight or even tomorrow. So something that is a year or more, is something I don't like to think about.

But something made me thought about it this morning.

After being in this small business, I have seen myself from nothing to at least something worth recognizing for myself (at this point, I don't need others to recognize me yet. It's important for me to recognize myself first).

Disclaimer: This post is never intended to bring anyone down but to share on the setbacks I've faced and maybe as a reflection for me to understand how I can further improve the processes.

It all started with wanting to try and do something different for myself, which is why I thought of starting this business. There was once a fear, but that fear slowly faded away with time and I've grown more confident over time.

Initially, the business plan was to have a partnership with my siblings because one of them had ambitions to go into the same industry as me. But things didn't work out because although the interest is the same, the way we work, is very different. 

My sister is a more terjun-botol kind of person and then can suddenly decide to do something totally different the next day. There is zero consistency and planning. This is fine for someone who works the same way with her. But for me, I am the more careful kind where I'll start small and slowly build my portfolio from there. It's much safer and if I make any losses, it wont be much.

My sister's plan was to do up a waffle ice cream live station for weddings and also the full scale decor. Huge huge ambition. We suggested to her to start with something small first like an in house dais - to you know, test the comfortability and even make use of one of our houses to do up a pelamin to trial and error, but we later found out that she already terjun botol and started buying ice cream glass panels (you know those big ones macam nak bukak kedai ice cream), and a huge 20ft wooden backdrop panel and 4 acrylic platforms for the dais.

Guess who collected those huge things on her behalf? Me. While she was suddenly away on a holiday during the delivery day of the items. -.- *slow claps

Guess where those things ended up? At my mum's place - rotting away. Sheesh.

And right now, she's suddenly into photography, logo designing and sampul raya designing.

Looking at how she work, and how I work = we both can't be in the same company. 

So things got a bit ugly halfway and the whole predicament ended there and then. She quietly opened her own company (that does the whole photography, logo designing and sampul raya thingy) - which I didn't know of, but I was told by my kakak about it. I just gave her my best of wishes in my heart and hope for the best for her.

Right now, there's only my husband and I running our small company. I am on the PR & Admin and the Creative department whereas my husband is on the delivery side and logistics side. I'll accompany him for delivery because an aspect of the delivery side is the PR where I've to explain to my clients on their items and our items.

Few months' back, I thought of expanding my business further and include bunga rampai into our packages. This is where I decided to rope my other sister in. She has the flair of becoming a florist one day, so I believe this was a great starting point for her.

However, as much as she has this creative side of things, out of the 4 times that we have done bunga rampai so far, I had to help her out in 3 because she couldn't finish it on time and that delayed our delivery deadline. It doesn't reflect well and something has to be improved.

I kept on emphasizing on the importance of amanah/trust and fulfilling ones' obligations especially when it involves receiving money from others. People are paying for it and we must deliver. But sadly, I think it doesn't come across as that important to her...maybe not yet. Maybe she doesn't see the seriousness of it yet because she has yet to meet any demanding clients. Again, this taught me another lesson that as much as one can be your sibling and also has the flair of doing something nice out of something, it doesn't mean he/she share the same kind of passion as you. :(

To do list: Another pep talk sesh coming up.

Sigh.

Business is not as easy as it seems. You have to juggle internally (your partners, and for some - employee and staff) and also externally (suppliers and clients). At the same time, manage my role as a wife and a mum to my kid(s). 

Even though I am nowhere veryyyyy near the limelight, I believe I want to grow something out of this someday. Insya'Allah.

Do'akan! <3

When was the last time?

I miss our random date nights. :(

Rezeki milik Allah

Woke up this morning with a thought that has been lingering on my mind since last night.... (or maybe the last few nights but I haven't gotten the chance to pen it down).

Both of us have been rather tight with our finances these days but Alhamdulillah, we tried to manage it in a way possible for us to live through the days.

There are days we find ourselves not being able to eat outside and then we remembered my mum gave us some paste she bought so that cooking is made relatively easier for me. And then I also had my lovely friends who gifted us with AMGD passes, which helped us too.

It's tough, I have to admit. especially when money is a critical tool in this time of age.

At times, my clients delayyyy their payment, but we still have to deliver it to them (because majlis orang.......), and trust that they will pay.......someday. It's difficult to have that trust, because some may "forget" about paying..... and we are here left waiting. (How can one forget paying something that is owed to others eh? Sigh). Have to learn how to manage this one. It's not easy having to send messages to someone for something that THEY owe you. It's very naggy, but someone gotta do it. Orang kata "dah macam kerja tailong". 

But having said that, our rezeki (or sustenance) didn't come to us as a form of money, for now, but at least it comes in other forms:

- Family

- Rezeki anak

- Rezeki ada rumah untuk tinggal

- Rezeki makanan (no matter how financially tight we are, Allah cukupkan with food on the table for us. This, I find amazing. Alhamdulillah Syukur).

- Rezeki kawan, walaupun I don't have many of them, but the count of them are really amazing friends

I guess I have also come to realise that it is hikmah too that I wasn't given a job because the initial plan was to have our MIL to take care of our son, while I go to work. But Allah is The Best of Planners. Indeed there was a reason that He doesn't allow me to go to work; MIL was diagnosed with cancer and of course, who else would be the better person to look after my son other than myself?

It is not at all that bad. Yes, being an SAHM is tough. There are days you get mad, slightly depressed and all, hahahha... but at least you get to witness the every milestone of your child. 

It's amazing, Masya'Allah. 

Indeed, rezeki itu milikNya Allah. We just gotta have faith and husnudzonbillah (sangka baik dengan Allah) and everything will eventually make sense and fall into place. ♥

A night like this ♥️

My husband is on night shift and as usual, it's me and Adriaan at home (with the little one wriggling inside the tums). 

As I am typing this, Adriaan is already sound asleep on my tummy, hugging the bulge (his adik hehe). I wish I can freeze the moment in stills and have it printed but the room is dark and my phone camera does not take good night shots. #bummer

When he was awake, his head was on my tummy, playing with my fingers quietly. 

It feels so surreal to be spending time with him alone, all quiet, in our own moment. 

Mummy wish to cherish this memory forever close to my heart. 

I love you, my son - Adriaan Shariq. ♥️

*kisses his forehead

Necessary buys for our home

Since we have confirmed on engaging Steven by J.S. F-u-rnitures as our Contractor, we started buying the necessary items for our home.

We jotted down the items to be bought required solely for the renovation and what can be bought much later after renovation is completed. We needed to segregate our spending by stages, because kita taklah kaya mana kan.

Items needed for renovation:
- Bidet Spray
- Ceiling fan with light
- Cooker hob
- Cooker hood
- Faucet/Mixer
- Kitchen faucet
- Kitchen sink
- Instant heater
- Lighting
- Sanitary fittings
- Wash Basin

Approximate spending: $4.1k

Items that can be bought/installed after renovation:
- Airconditioner
- Boltless Rack
- Grille + Window for the Service Yard

Approximate spending: $4k

So, you see. It totals up to about $8.1k. Where to get that sum of money eh? Dengan renovation cost lagi. 

But not all hopes are lost. Haha. We made a trip down to the stretch of shop houses at Jalan Besar Road to take a look. Our agenda for that particular day was more to surveying the prices for lighting. Shops after shops we went in. Until 1 particular shop where we realise that it has almost everything we needed. Lol.

We ended up buying everything we stated above in that shop except for the ceiling fan with light because we already bought those from a different shop at Sembawang last year before we even receive the keys to our home (nasib baik dapat rumah. kalau tak, terpaksa forego deposit kipas tu lol).

From a $4.1k budget we had, we spent about $2.5k in total. Just nice of what we have actually. Hahahha. The shop owner was very nice to give us some discounts on the items as we bought quite a bulk from them. Anyway, we didn't even have $4.1k to start with. Kesian eh. Lol.

Although there are much more beautiful design/function I wish we could have bought - because gatal nak "rumah idaman" - but I'll make do with what we have, even if the designs are not what I have in mind lol. Asalkan function sudah.

Maybe next time lah eh when we have more rezeki or when the current items have eventually passed their "old age" due to wear and tear. Haha.

To get the renovation process started, hehe, I'll let you in with a peek of our computerized drawings by Steven.

KITCHEN AREA:

ENTRANCE OF KITCHEN/DINING AREA:

AN OVERALL VIEW: 

Taklah selawa ID punya with rendering of the visuals and the likes haha, but jadilah eh. And yes, we decided to hack the kitchen entrance and make the kitchen entrance bigger instead of having it a closed kitchen because we liked it to look more spacious. The kitchen by itself is really small - I feel a tad claustrophobic when I walk in it! #ngadengade Sure, the smell of food cooking will travel, but I'll usually balas with nice scented boiled lemon and cinnamon after cooking is done. So I hope that will help with that problem? Heh. 

Alright, more updates to come :)

Welcoming July

Time flies and we are already at the second half of 2017! Say whatttt!

Ended my first Ramadhan with being able to fast for a full 30 days (Alhamdulillah), but not doing so much this year as compared to my previous years. :( I don't know if caring for a baby plus carrying one in me is a valid "reason", but hais, I am sure I could do better.

Nonetheless, Ramadhan this year is already over and I could only do'a that I'll be able to meet the next Ramadhan... Aamiin.

Few quick updates!

RENOVATION:
We are almost halfway through our renovation progress.
- Hacking of our kitchen was done on the first few days of renovation
- Then we had to choose our toilet floor tiles again because the one Steven showed us from Hafary is out of stock
- Doors installed, and painted
- Delivery of the items we bought (Note: Gonna blog about our buying process, insya'Allah!)
- Toilet floor tiles have been overlaid once we confirmed our new tiles
- Our kitchen entrance have been touched up after the hacking
- Installation of our instant heaters has been done

Upcoming week:
- Installation of our kitchen cabinet

To do:
Pass the second payment to Steven

PREGNANCY:
We are at our 17 weeks 4 days today. Alhamdulillah.

The first very very mild movement/shifting I felt was exactly on the 17th week, around the same time as when I first felt Adriaan's movement. But Adriaan's one was more prominent in a sense I could actually see the bulge forming. This time, I could only feel the subtle movements internally.

The next appointment will be on the 19th July where you'll turn 20 weeks insya'Allah. We will also get to know your gender.

Your Ayah and Nyai is guessing girl whereas I still have no clue. I kindaaaa have a feeling it's a boy though from the shape of my tummy. But Ayah said it looks different this time round. Don't cheat my feelings leh. Hahaha. Show your true shape please!

Well, we will see lah eh. Like I once told Ayah, it doesn't quite matter girl or boy this time. All I know is if we plan to have a third one insya'Allah, to be much more careful in the family planning department (not because I don't believe in rezeki and qadar Allah), but I need the time to recuperate especially since my recent Prolapse episode.

To-do: More kegels!

ADRIAAN:
Few updates pertaining to this son of mine haha.

- He is no longer "butt-heavy" and "lazy" to use his leg muscles to stand. He has shown keen interest to start walking. Good progress but no rush though! I would prefer him to take his own sweet time and crawl longer.
- He has his sleep regression episodes. *cries* It comes and goes. There are weeks where he'll sleep through the night so SO peacefully. But there are nights where he'll be jolted awake either by his own version of nightmare or just wanna play and not sleep. Pfft.
- I've started giving him 2 meals per day, one in the afternoon for lunch and one in the evening at 6pm. There'll be 2 different purée flavours for his meals. He'll be turning 1 years old about 4 months' time and I need to get him used to more food. Time is running out and I've yet to explore more food options for him. He's still "stuck" at some 4-6 months' old food range. :/ I've yet to start him on Baby-led weaning (BLW) because 1, we don't have a high chair for him to sit on it quietly and explore. 2, my husband HATES mess, in CAPS, Bold, Italics, Underline kinda seriousness of hatred. Hahaha. But I hope to explore when his Ayah is not around, with fruits that are more soft like bananas (can you try bananas again, Adriaan?), Avocados or dragon fruit? Insya'Allah.

To-do: Buy more fruit and vegetables, and maybe try starting him on fish and meat?

Alright, that's it for the updates this time round.
Note: This is just a skeleton of a proper update espesh on my renovation progress. Will do a more proper one with visuals. Hehe!

First Appt with the Physiotherapy

So following the check up on my U-Prolapse as mentioned in this entry here, I had my first Physio therapy session yesterday. Gotta blog about it so I can remember the notes shared by the therapist.

Disclaimer: Please, please... PLEASEEEE read this with an open mind and don't think I take pleasure blogging something so private like this like it's easy to do so. The reason why I'm blogging about this is because I don't see anyone local sharing about Prolapse so if this helps anyone out there who is facing this condition just like me, then yes... I've done my part.
//End of Disclaimer//

So, anywayyy... The automated text sent by KKH stated that I can't be late because its strictly by appointment. Heh. So we reached 15 minutes earlier than the appointment time at the Rehab clinic at KKH and self-registered.

Soon after, I met my therapist. To be honest, I didn't have a high expectation on the session. Haha. I had a feeling it was going to be sub-par by learning on how to do Kegel exercises on the basic level. But I was proven wrong.

I explained to her the series of events that happened in relation to my U-Prolapse episode. It was nice because she responded just like a friend so that made me comfortable (as opposed to a cold response with just "mhmm", "ok", "mhmmm" then make you feel like it's not so serious haha).

The therapist (let's call her M.F.) showed me a picture of the anatomy of the pelvic floor - something like the picture below:

(Credit: Pelvic Floor First)

MF explained that the red coloured "tissue" from the pubic bone all the way to the spine at the coccyx is where the pelvic floor muscles are. It "supports" the urethra, uterus and the rectum. Over time, as we age, the pelvic floor muscle will weaken and it's something that we can't avoid due to wear and tear. But since I am still young, she said I still can do Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles.

MF then showed me on how Kegel exercise works. It's basically like controlling your flatulence, by holding it in? Haha. I checked with her whether is it the same feeling like holding our bladder midstream while pee-ing and MF explained that yes, but it is not recommended to hold our bladder halfway frequently NOT because it weakens the pelvic floor muscles, but because it will cause Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) especially for us women because the length of our urethra is shorter than men. If we hold and stop our pee midstream, the pee that was going to exit, gets sucked back in and it will cause bacteria forming. Ahhh... Baru kakak faham. 

Once that was done, MF did an examination on me to check the severeness of my condition. I told her that I suspected I was a Stage 2 according to articles I read online. Like this one here. But according to my explanations to her, she suspected that my condition is still at Stage 1. 

I lied down on the bed (undergarments off), opened my legs, bent my knees, and followed her instructions to cough once. Followed by a second cough. MF told me that she only sees it descending at the second cough. After which, MF told me to try doing the Kegel exercises to check whether I'm doing it correctly (while still being in the same position). *Awkwardddd O.O

She said I did it correctly the first time, just that I tend to lift my butt slightly up while at it. I was supposed to not lift my butt up at all. Tried again and this time it's corrected. 

The next check was even more....awkward (errrr). She had her surgical glove on, applied some gel on it, apologized (haha errrr) and inserted a finger to know how long am I doing the Kegel exercises for, by asking me to hold it in as long as I can, and feeling my "squeeze". (Can I put on an oversized paper bag over my head already? So embarrassing seh... yeeeeksss).

"1...2...3........18...19...20. Good. Try again"

"1...2...3......14...15.... Okay, you already lose it at 15 seconds but that's good too"

"Yours is a Stage 1". Alhamdulillah. 

Felt relieved that at least my Kegel exercises were corrected, even though embarrassing ah haa..haa... Alhamdulillah. 

MF then continued explaining on modifying the task and chores that I am doing on a daily basis to ensure that it doesn't worsen the condition of my prolapse. She started by telling me that for emptying on bowels, to never squat down to do it. For a person with healthy pelvic floor, this position is good as the intestine is straight down. But for someone with a less healthy pelvic floor, the abdominal mass above the bladder, uterus and the rectum will cause a strain and additional stress plus weight on the pelvic floor and worsen the condition. Wow, something new we all learned huh?

Other than that, she explained that for my case, as I'm of a petite size, currently pregnant and have to carry my son, both weight will add on to the stress on my pelvic floor muscles even more. *sweats drip emoticon* Boohoo. Not my fault seh for being this small size :( Therefore, she taught me on ways on how to modify carrying my son up. 

Since my son is currently sleeping on the tilam laid down on the floor (note to self: baby-proofing post coming up next time insya'Allah), and I'm sleeping on the bed, there'll be times where he cries and I have to carry him up. For this, she explained that I have to have a stool as close as possible to him, and before I carry him, to start doing my Kegel...hold it in...carry him up on my lap, and relaxxxx (my pelvic floor).... Before I stand up while carrying him, I start my Kegel again...hold it in... carry him up and once I'm in a proper standing position, I can relaxxxx.... I cannot do the conventional way of squatting down, carry him up and stand straightaway. It will worsen my condition. Squatting down is a total no-no for now. No jumping, and no running as well. 

MF told me that it will take at least 2 months for me to see results if I do 10 sets (15-20 seconds per set), 3 times a day. I can even split it up to 2 sets, do my work, and continue doing the remaining again later. It doesn't have to be consecutive all 30 sets at one go. Nais!

MF also mentioned that at times when I anticipate a cough/sneeze coming, I should quickly do a quick Kegel exercise to ensure that the pelvic floor muscle is being "squeezed". Noted!

Learned so much in just a session. So so thankful. Alhamdulillah :)

Oh, before we ended the session, I checked with MF to confirm whether it was a Uterus Prolapse and not a Bladder Prolapse, and yes, mine is a Uterus Prolapse. I also checked with her whether it is necessary for me to do the pessary application and she said nope. Phew! At least that is one worry off! :) Mine is considered mild and according to her, prolapse can go as bad as Stage 4 where the whole uterus will slip outside the vagina. That is when surgery is required. Yikes! Naudzubillah min dzalik. 

My next follow up with MF will be in 2 months time, insya'Allah. Since my check up on the 13th of Jun, I have yet to experience another prolapse. Hopefully I'll see improvements in 2 months time. Aamiin. :)

Oh congratulations for reading till the end of my awkward but fruitful session with my therapist. :/ Haha! :)

A new beginning: Renovation of our Humble Abode

So since we have successfully received our house keys back in late December, we have been procrastinating our renovation. We put it on hold because we were too occupied with mending to Adriaan and learning the ropes of becoming new parents. And uhhh... we just didn't know how and where to start. Lol.

Come April, both of us decided to get things moving by deciding on how we should renovate the house according to the decent budget we have. Remember we used up our savings meant for the renovation to pay for the shortfall to HDB? Haa...haaa...haaaaa....

Did a Powerpoint slide document by attaching our floor plan and include pictures from the net that inspired us (or mostly me lah eh - because I design, Mr. J approve/reject).

Disclaimer: Pardon the disorganization of the pictures with improper pixels and such because we were rushing through it. :p

---

Our floor plan:

Our suggested floor plan - construction:

 

LIVING ROOM INSPIRATION

Design of L-Box: 

Suggested width of L-Box:

DINING AREA / KITCHEN AREA INSPIRATION

 

(Credit: 9 Creation)

The other side of the kitchen:

(Credit: 9 Creation)

Marble-like backsplash:

(Credit: Instagram of Cortese Architects)

MBR & COMMON TOILETS

Overlay of floor tiles:

(Credit: www.theblockshop.com.au)

Wash-basin & marble-like table top:

(Credit: http://www.contemporist.com/)

Bi-fold door louvres design for toilets:

BEDROOM DOORS

Classic doors:

---

With the Powerpoint "proposal" ready, we dropped an email to 3 companies (Contractors) and only 1 replied. Hahaha! That makes things easier for us, I guess? We didn't really go shopping for other contractors after the reply because... malas? :/ Besides, I think they did a great job with Deeyanah's house.

Steven gave us a quotation and we went through it, taking out some parts of the quotation and letting him know that we do not require them. He didn't insist that we should have them included, which was nice. Of course, we should really know what we want.

We managed to bring the quotation cost down by $3k which I think is not too bad?

At the same time, we had the BSC to rectify the minor defects and then we are good to go :)

Renovation progress will be discussed at the next entry, Insya'Allah... :)

Financing our upcoming home: Part 5 - Key collection (part ii)

So, as per the last entry on my key collection on last Oct 2016 that unfortunately/fortunately did not happened, here we are again at Part Deux of the key collection. If you would like to recall the whole 5 parts, click below:

- Financing our upcoming home: Part 1 - The harsh reality
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 2 - The headache
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 3 - Finding solutions
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 4 - Executing the solution
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 5 - Key collection

If you could recall from my other entry here, HDB only gave us a deferment of only a month after our appeal in November >> 20 Dec 2016. Any later than that, we will have to pay a penalty of (a very nice figure) $2,112 every month until we collect the keys. *shrug shoulders*

Along with the appeal for the deferment of the key collection date, we also received a letter from HDB to reassess the loan according to Mr. J's current salary back then. We thought we do not need to submit the "new" HDB loan form because I still do not have a job. Until the same letter on the deferment mentioned that they would need us to submit the documents (my statutory declaration stating that I'm not working, Mr. J's salary slips and other documents that I can't recall - hey, it's been 6 months since. lol). If they do not receive the documents, they will take it as we do not need the loan.

And so we did as told, and waited.

Our initial HDB Loan amount was around $264K when the both of us were working back in year 2014.
The new HDB Loan amount granted to us after the reassessment was $244K, with only Mr. J's income.
*The figures of the loan has been rounded up/down to protect the confidentiality. 

So we were somewhat still short of money? But it's considered still better than nothing, right? *staying positive*

We calculated and had to dig up our savings that was meant for the house renovation (dry laugh) to pay for the shortfall in cash. :')

Went to the bank and did a cashier's order of whatever the amount we thought we needed to pay HDB.

>>> Fast forward to 20 Dec 2016 >>>

Nervous.

We were worried we couldn't collect our keys - AGAIN. Once bitten, twice shy you know?

I recalled Mr. J making a remark, "Ni kalau tak dapat jugak, dah. Kita give up sudah". Haha. I could somehow sense he was tired with the drama already. But of course, we went into the sales office with lots of do'a, in hopes that we could really really get to collect the keys.

We walked in, and was greeted by a nice kakak Sales Officer, who had our documents, looked at our current CPF balance through her monitor, her calculator and stationery all laid out nicely on her desk.

Mr. J and I threw glances at each other - nervous of the outcome.

She asked to confirm, "Suhailah is currently not working, am I right?" something along those lines. We nodded our head.

She did her calculations.

After she keyed into the system, she keyed into her calculator and showed us the shortfall that we have to pay in cash.

Dang! We were still short of about SGD 1.2K. :O #cuakinprogress

We did not factor in the miscellaneous cost like Stamp fee, Registration Fee, Survey Fee and all the fees yang sewaktu dengannya. *hides face*

"Ermmm... Macam mana eh kalau cashier's ordernya tak cukup?"
"The balance can be topped up by cash".

Phew!

Mr. J then called his helpline (his brother kekeke) for help to transfer some funds and once Mr. J receives his upcoming salary the next day, he'll transfer the funds back to his brother.

Settled the payment. Followed the instructions of going to the different levels to open up our SP Services account and get our home insurance by Etiqa.

And finally, back to the sales office room where we were handed THE KEYSSSS!!!

YES, WE FINALLY RECEIVED THE KEYS IN OUR HANDS!!!

We breathed a huge sigh of relief and went "ALHAMDULILLAHHHH" when the kakak passed the set of keys to us. She smiled and said "Tahniah!" :)

Wow.

Just. Wow.

It was definitely a challenging phase for the both of us just to get to where we were - at that moment!

The stress, the anger, the heading down to MP to appeal along with my big bump, the disappointment when I still couldn't get a job...

All that. Wow.

Really is a test Allah put us through. And I'm glad we got over that phase.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.

To recall that phase again as I'm typing this very entry, makes me feel more assured that if the both of us can go through such a tough time like that together, insya'Allah we can go through anything together.

Alhamdulillah :)

Upcoming blog posts

Putting it up here so that I'll remember to blog about it (well, you better!)

Home related:
- A closure of our key collection last Dec after my last entry here
- Renovation!!

Baby related:
- Baby proofing
- His milestones

Pregnancy related:
- Maybe share about how I find out?
- Maybe share about my journey?
- Maybe share about the differences between my first and second pregnancy?

Recipe related:
- Home made chicken & vegetable stock
- Purées!
- Some new recipes that I've tried along the way and was a success :)

And mayyyybe some blog posts along the way on self-improvements/motivations to keep me going. :)

Wow, quite ambitious eh to state all the upcoming blog posts I intend to talk about. Haha! Insya'Allah!

Jia you, me! May I find the time to share about each and every one of them :)

On a quest: Eczema part ii

It has been a long time since I do an update regarding the progress of my son's eczema. I feel I should.

Been really busy, you see. :p (New respect to all mummy bloggers - Where did you get all that time man! #SALUTE)

So cut long story short, as per the previous entry on eczema got me trying out recommendations by mummies by the Facebook group page SG 2016 Mummys.

The first ever wash & moisturizer combo that I tried was Cetaphil Restoraderm. This was the second popular one as compared to Physiogel AI Cream. The reason why I chose this was due to the fact that there is also the wash for his bath time. So at least it could sort of reduce the inflammation on his skin, I think?

So as usual, we put the wash and moisturizer to a test.

BEFORE: His whole body has spots which looked like ringworm/discoid eczema. Like patches of it all over his body.

Diligently slather moisturizer over him every. other. hour (I am serious!) and saw improvements. Of course no moisturizer works like magic so we saw improvements like in a matter of days.

The more we applied, the more it showed improvements on his skin.

Alhamdulillah.

There are days that his eczema will flare up - think days where the weather is unforgiving-ly humid, or if his face get into contact with clothing that has not been washed/washed with adult laundry detergent.

Eczema sufferer's skin is pretty sensitive. To be honest, I don't hate him having eczema because it teaches me to be patient? But I hate explaining to overly-concerned strangers/people on days that his face flares up. 

It's like when I go to Point A, a stranger asks. To Point B, another stranger asks. It can be very very annoying to have to face the same questions by different people many times in a day. But through this episode, I have learned to filter away the questions I choose not to hear and answer. Eg. When people ask "What's wrong with his face? Why is it red?" I'll just smile and look away. I don't think I have to answer your question if I don't feel like it. 

Or like the other day where this makcik actually made an effort to catch my attention by waving at me continuously. And when I turned to look at her, she dropped the question. "Asal muka dia merah?" Waaaa sanggup eh, cik lol. Wave hand bagai just to catch my attention and then ask a question like that.

Did I answer her? Nope, I did not. I chose not to. I smiled and looked away. I feel that it's not any of her concern and not like it bothered her anyway.

Eczema is an uncomfortable condition to go through and to see your son scratching his face and his body parts till it bleeds, can be really painful to witness. It only takes one to go through to know.

I hope your immune system gets stronger and you'll grow out of eczema, just like what people said. (Although I know lahhh some people say "Eczema can't be cured", but we can always hope right?) :)

Something new

It's about 4am in the morning and I'm done with cooking sahur for the day.

Since there is still some time till I wake Mr. J up, Imma share with you about something that happened to me.

On the 5th of June last week, I experienced something different happening to my body. In short, I think I had a prolapse. (Click on the link to view how it is).

The reason why I'm sharing this is because I realise not many Asians share about this? The forums I read are more to Caucasian women. I am not sure whether it's a culture thing (because Asians are more conservative?) or it generally happens only to Caucasian women.

So on the eve of my birthday, we made our way to KKH to do a check up on the suspected prolapse. Turned out when they did their check on me, the supposed prolapse "went back in". It could be that it went back in because the waiting time was quite a while *laugh*

Mr. J and I explained to the doctor and nurse on duty that it really happened and that something was out. But we had no picture to show them... so they couldn't diagnose me proper and we left home "empty handed".

The doctor did explain to me that prolapse generally happen to older women because their pelvic muscle weakens over time OR to women who had gone through multiple vaginal births. It can happen to women of my age, but very rare... Oh well... What could it be, then?

During the week till my next appointment on the 13th, I did some Kegel exercises following the instructions I got from the internet, but it doesn't seem effective on me. I am not sure whether I am doing it correctly as of now but I feel that the situation improved when I'm on full bed rest.

There are days I had no choice but to carry my 8.6kg son (ringan betul dia haha), and do the house chores. Those are the days where I could feel it descending down, but not exactly "out".

Until on the eve of my appointment date on the 12th.

That particular day we were out to our new home (Reno has started weee!!) and we sent off my parents and sister off to Umroh. And night time to Tan Tock Seng to visit Mak. So there was a whole lot of walking.

Went home, cleaned up, and yes, hello there - it came out again!

Of course this time we managed to snap a picture so I could show the doctor on duty for my appointment the next day.

Doctor did some checks and confirmed that its a uterus prolapse. Suspected to be caused by my previous childbirth. (Alhamdulillah, at least it wasn't a growth).

She suggested to either:
- Meet up with Physiotherapist to learn on how to strengthen my pelvic muscles the correct way
OR
- Meet up with Gynecologist that specializes in this area and insert a pessary (some sort of a rubber ring) to hold it in place. It is non surgical so it is highly recommended for women of my age/women who are currently pregnant/women who would like to have more children.

We ended up taking both her suggestions as I feel I may need the pessary application for this pregnancy.

Cobaan for me for this pregnancy but Insya'Allah all will be well.

On a side note, I remember reading an entry by a sister who feels sad that it seems very easy for other women to get pregnant (she is currently on a TTC journey). I don't blame her for feeling so. I know that feeling.

But I just would like to say that, even though it may seem "easy" for other women to get pregnant, it may not be an easy journey during their pregnancy. We may not show to people what we are going through during the pregnancy. All people could see are the beautiful rosy pictures of women with a beautiful bump. But behind all the beauty, are trials that we go through, not everyone know of. :(

My previous pregnancy with Adriaan - bleeding now and then. Even got hospitalised for it.
My current pregnancy with this baby - Uterus prolapse.

I take it that Allah nak kasi pahala extra, insya'Allah.

For all the sisters that still yearn for a child, my prayers are with you. May you be able to experience a beautiful life growing inside of you soon. Aamiin. <3

Husnudzonbillah

A lot of things have been on my plate recently. Some are great, some are...trials (or gifts) from The Almighty. 

In the past entry, I mentioned that I think I was having a depression. 

I think I did...

I cried for a few days, feeling really worn out. Did not enjoy the pregnancy. Did not enjoy having Adriaan around me. I chose to keep it to myself....

And then I snapped. 

It wasn't a great feeling. 

I tried to talk to Mr J but he has been really occupied of late - I don't blame him. 

Our beloved mak has been diagnosed with cancer...... and it changes the whole dynamic of how we spend our life...in a good way, insya'Allah. 

Although it's tough to swallow, but we are supporting mak every step of the way. 

Recently, a young boy aged 4 has passed away due to the same type of cancer mak has been diagnosed with. I know the news will somehow reach her... I told Mr. J about it and soon after, when he had his daily call with mak that night, she told him about the boy who passed away. :(

Anyway, despite all that, I had a talk with Mr. J and he apologized to me for being really occupied with work and extra duties that he neglected his small family - and me. 

I felt slightly better after that. Alhamdulillah. 

And then something unexpected happened. 

About 1st of Jun, I received a text message from Ninja Van saying that I will be expecting to receive a parcel from Charles and Keith later that day. I honestly believed it was a case of wrong number because c'mon, I know my husband. He don't do surprises. It's just not him. 

I wanted to call Ninja Van to report of this mistake only to find out that it's actually an advance birthday gift from my friends. :')

On top of that, I was pleasantly surprised and touched when both Rafsie and Mrs. F opened an account with AMGD for me. May Allah reward the both of you tenfolds. Aamiin aamiin aamiin. It's really something I did not expect. (They didn't know my birthday was the next day hahaha!) 

There's something else that happened to me but I shall leave that to the next entry, insya'Allah. 

To sum it up, these events that happened made me realise apa yang jadi adalah KuasaNya and that whatever happens in this world is temporary. 

Our sadness is temporary. My depression was temporary. 

Today, you may feel like you have failed. 
But tomorrow, Allah will make you feel like you're whole again. 


Alhamdulillah atas segala sesuata. <3

Am I the only one feeling this way?

I don't know if its the right time to express my thoughts.

But ever since I found out I am pregnant, I don't seem to enjoy it. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed.

I started getting all angry and frustrated when Adriaan doesn't sleep at night.

Please don't start with all the preaching of accepting this as a blessing because yes I constantly remind myself that I should be feeling happy that I am given this gift of another human growing inside of me, but at the same time, I feel like I am going through this alone.

I don't know if you can call it depression?

I've been screaming at Adriaan when he pisses me off and I know it's not good or healthy. But at this point, I just can't seem to control my temper.

I think I need a time out.

I think I really do :(

I'm extremely exhausted. Sigh.

Don't like feeling all negative like this but I really needed an outlet. :(

After 5 months...

/Backdated to 26 Apr 2017/

---

...its round number 2. All over again. 

Pregnant, for the second time (technically third, but you get the drift). 

I will leave the story of how I found out to another entry (if I do have the time). Tonight calls for another entry that I needed to let it out of my chest. 

It's 1.15am and my son finally FINALLY stopped crying and screaming. He had been on it for about 15 minutes, enough to drive my hormones skyrocketing mad. 

Tried all means to calm him down (sucks that the husband is on night shift because hey, if he is around, at least we can - you know - take turns) but he still went on crying and screaming. 

Tried the usual of holding his hands and tapping him softly to sleep, but he still continued crying. What happened next really got me raging mad. He started kicking in frustration and unknowingly aimed for my tummy. 

Okay, that's enough, Mister!

I started getting really angry and shouted at him. It was painful, alright. He continued screaming. I tried switching on the aircon to calm him down but he went on and on. At one point, I swear I had wanted to take the remote control of the airconditioner and "shut him up". But of course I did not.

Tears streamed down my face. I scooped him up onto my lap, and carried him standing. I cried and cried and cried. Kissed him and apologized for having such (evil) thoughts. 

Felt really lousy then. :'( What kind of a mother am I?

Damn those hormones got the better of me. 

Surprisingly, he stopped crying then. Alhamdulillah. :')

Mummy promise to play and spend more time with you before your adik comes along ok? Because by then, I'll have to split my time equally if not more between the both of you. I'll hope you understand, even though you'll insya'Allah be just one when he/she comes along. 

I love you, sayang, with all of my heart. <3

On a quest: Eczema

It's been really dusty here. Really respect mummies who find the time to blog on their LO's milestones. If only I have the drive (and time) to do so. #alasan haha.

Anyways, the reason I blog tonight (at 1:46 am SG time) is to document my son's eczema-prone skin problems that I decided to address it earlier yesterday and my oh my, the drafts I have that wasn't posted :p
.
.
.

#distractions

Will leave it there till I have time to complete them entries yeah. For now, let's skip to priorities.

I posted the picture below in this FB group - SG 2016 Mummy's page:

We have tried the following according to this picture, along with the entry as quoted below:

- California Baby Calendula Cream

- Emulsifying Ointment BP

- Sebamed Facial Cream

- Baby's Sensitive Skin Salve by Essentials for Q

- Sudocrem Skincare Cream

- Magic Jelly for Baby

- Ezerra Cream

- Bepanthen

- Tea bag given by hub's colleague

- Diprobase Cream 

- EVCO

Hi mummies. My son (gonna turn 5 months soon) has quite a bad eczema-proned skin - on his face, at the folds of his skin, and on his body. Here's the number of products we bought and tried after seeing similar pictures of mummies posted with their LO's skin condition. 

Eczema is hereditary as we heard so from the PD. 

We also tried oat milk bath and mild steroid creams prescribed by the hospital (but my husband doesn't want to be too reliant on it so we stopped).

We realised his skin is much better when he's in an airconditioned place so we had to switch on the aircon in our room day and night. But wow, the bills.😅😅 And it doesn't really help once we are out of home cz he'll flare up again.

Any mummies has any Skin Specialist for baby or other product-recommendations? Thank you in advance!

 And the response has been OVERWHELMING! One love, mummies! <3

Eczema is hereditary. If you or your husband has it in the past, or right now, high chances your LO might get it too. Of course, we can only hope that our LO doesn't inherit this part of our genes. I mean, who wants to see their LO scratching all over and bleed right? </3

Before I share what other mummies have recommended, I shall be fair and share what I have tried on my son for future references.

1. California Baby Calendula Cream, bought it for SGD 49.90:

It's rather scented. Although very moisturizing, it doesn't work for my son.

2. Emulsifying Ointment BP:

This belongs to my husband since he has eczema. We tried this on my son, but didn't work on him as well.

3. Sebamed Facial Cream, can't remember how much we bought it for. Should be $20 plus?

This was the first ever cream we purchased for our son when he was a newborn. But eczema doesn't show until later and this cream no longer works well.

4. Baby's Sensitive Skin Salve

Saw no improvements :(

5. Sudocrem Skincare Cream - I think we bought it for less than SGD 10? 

We thought it helped cz his skin got better? But it has to go really dry till it gets better and Mr. J is not up for the idea cz dry skin is so uncomfortable for Adriaan :(

6. Magic Jelly for Baby by Lovera. I think we bought it for $29 for 1 bottle?

Verdict: Totally no improvements at all :(

7. Ezerra Cream - 1 tube of 50gm costs $33.90 iirc

The one that is most suitable for him but we have to spam the cream like buttercream on a cake. It does help to moisturize, but then again, his skin never improves.

8. Bepanthen - about less than SGD 10?

Works really well for his diaper rash (if any), but doesn't work for his eczema. 

9. Tea bag - FREE as it's given by my hub's colleague :p

Currently trying these out and see how it goes.

10. Diprobase Cream - FREE as it's given by my hub's colleague :p

Currently trying this out but doesn't seem to work?

11. EVCO - bought this since I was pregnant for my consumption.

At first it worked for him, but then his skin flare up again. :(

--

There are a lot of comments received by mummies, sharing all sorts of wash, creams, moisturizers they have used on their LO. Some even sent me a private message to share with me that their LO is currently going through the same thing. So much love! <3

To the babies going through this ordeal, as mummies, we can't bear to see you like that. Flaky dry skin, scratches all over, weeping, bleeding of skin. We will stop at nothing to ensure that you get better soon <3

Insya'Allah I will try to share the other products that the mummies recommend some other time cz the boy just woke up for his feed. O.O