Forgive people for their ignorance

As I'm clearing storage space in my business phone after it has prompted me 101 times that it needs clearing, I did a bit of housekeeping too on all the pictures I took of my clients' trays.

I then chanced upon the one I did for a relative's wedding.

A series of flashbacks later played on my mind.

"Ye lah, sebab bini kau buat dulang-dulang, abeh pakai duit. Sebab tu duit selalu habis" - said the mentioned relative. *It was something along this line.

Relative and husband was sharing this topic about financial expenses after marriage and how money is always "cukup-cukup makan" ibarat kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. It was a casual topic, yet the remark hurt me the most.

I was expected to do up the trays for the mentioned relative without getting a single cent as a reward. As family, you're expected to do it "for free", because takkan nak berkira right?

Fair enough. Really. No qualms about it.

So I did it out of love and respect for my husband, for that relative, only to hear from my husband that the same relative, said that I am the one who "finishes" my husband's salary.

Of course I wasn't happy.

For the record, I received no word of thanks from the relative after I did the trays for him, putting away my rest and sleep time, taking note that I had just delivered a baby about a month ago back then.

Orang kata, dengan "sedare" takmolah berkira. But please, even if you don't say thanks, the least you could do is not say that I finished my husband's money by doing all these "dulangs", which by the way, you have gotten the service - for free.

free.
percuma.

Sigh.

I still am sour about that, so I try to avoid meeting the relative lest I pull off a long face. :/

Husband then told me to just brush it off and said things like ..."You know kan, how this relative is... Always say things without thinking. Biarlah...", etc.

I somehow just can't brush it off.

And then today, I somehow got reminded of something that I did in the past that I was ignorant of;

---

I was having a meetup with friend X & Y in the past.

X was driving and picked me up from home. I sat beside X, at the front passenger seat.

So, we drove to somewhere to meet up with Y.

Then, Y came, and I came out of the car (from the front passenger seat), to join Y at the rear passenger seat.

My reason: I wanted to accompany Y at the back, totally ignorant of this "car-etiquette" that someone should sit at the front passenger seat, because you shouldn't make the person who drives, feel like a chauffeur.

I totally had no idea! (My family has no car, so I was really really ignorant).

One day, I chanced upon X's blog post about this "car-etiquette" (she was very subtle about it), and only then I know that I had hurt her feelings unknowingly by making her feel like a chauffeur.

So, I dropped her a text, and sincerely apologised to her on my ignorance. She also felt slightly embarrassed that I read her blog post (yikes! because she didn't think I would visit her blog to read, oops!)

---

So, back to my story on the earlier relative.

Sometimes, people do things, not because they have low EQ.
Sometimes, people are just plain ignorant.

For that relative, it may be because he just got married and doesn't know how a married life has a different set of expenses - thus, he passed off such remarks. Lagi-lagi bila ada anak.

Was it hurtful what he said?
You bet it was!

But like what my husband told me,
"Dia tak tahu. Biarkan. Yang penting, we both know what we have been spending on. We spend on necessities and I know you're handling our finances well. So, biarkan dia nak cakap apa. Yang penting, we both know. That's enough".

True...

It will take some time for me to forgive what was being said though, LOL.
But... now, at least, I am a bit lax on what was being said of me.

Thank you, husband - for almost always having my back! :)