Y tho.

When everyone says that its a norm and it's expected for women to do everything at home (because if you do any less, it means you're weak and less of a woman), then there is no more hope in the world.

Forgive people for their ignorance

As I'm clearing storage space in my business phone after it has prompted me 101 times that it needs clearing, I did a bit of housekeeping too on all the pictures I took of my clients' trays.

I then chanced upon the one I did for a relative's wedding.

A series of flashbacks later played on my mind.

"Ye lah, sebab bini kau buat dulang-dulang, abeh pakai duit. Sebab tu duit selalu habis" - said the mentioned relative. *It was something along this line.

Relative and husband was sharing this topic about financial expenses after marriage and how money is always "cukup-cukup makan" ibarat kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. It was a casual topic, yet the remark hurt me the most.

I was expected to do up the trays for the mentioned relative without getting a single cent as a reward. As family, you're expected to do it "for free", because takkan nak berkira right?

Fair enough. Really. No qualms about it.

So I did it out of love and respect for my husband, for that relative, only to hear from my husband that the same relative, said that I am the one who "finishes" my husband's salary.

Of course I wasn't happy.

For the record, I received no word of thanks from the relative after I did the trays for him, putting away my rest and sleep time, taking note that I had just delivered a baby about a month ago back then.

Orang kata, dengan "sedare" takmolah berkira. But please, even if you don't say thanks, the least you could do is not say that I finished my husband's money by doing all these "dulangs", which by the way, you have gotten the service - for free.

free.
percuma.

Sigh.

I still am sour about that, so I try to avoid meeting the relative lest I pull off a long face. :/

Husband then told me to just brush it off and said things like ..."You know kan, how this relative is... Always say things without thinking. Biarlah...", etc.

I somehow just can't brush it off.

And then today, I somehow got reminded of something that I did in the past that I was ignorant of;

---

I was having a meetup with friend X & Y in the past.

X was driving and picked me up from home. I sat beside X, at the front passenger seat.

So, we drove to somewhere to meet up with Y.

Then, Y came, and I came out of the car (from the front passenger seat), to join Y at the rear passenger seat.

My reason: I wanted to accompany Y at the back, totally ignorant of this "car-etiquette" that someone should sit at the front passenger seat, because you shouldn't make the person who drives, feel like a chauffeur.

I totally had no idea! (My family has no car, so I was really really ignorant).

One day, I chanced upon X's blog post about this "car-etiquette" (she was very subtle about it), and only then I know that I had hurt her feelings unknowingly by making her feel like a chauffeur.

So, I dropped her a text, and sincerely apologised to her on my ignorance. She also felt slightly embarrassed that I read her blog post (yikes! because she didn't think I would visit her blog to read, oops!)

---

So, back to my story on the earlier relative.

Sometimes, people do things, not because they have low EQ.
Sometimes, people are just plain ignorant.

For that relative, it may be because he just got married and doesn't know how a married life has a different set of expenses - thus, he passed off such remarks. Lagi-lagi bila ada anak.

Was it hurtful what he said?
You bet it was!

But like what my husband told me,
"Dia tak tahu. Biarkan. Yang penting, we both know what we have been spending on. We spend on necessities and I know you're handling our finances well. So, biarkan dia nak cakap apa. Yang penting, we both know. That's enough".

True...

It will take some time for me to forgive what was being said though, LOL.
But... now, at least, I am a bit lax on what was being said of me.

Thank you, husband - for almost always having my back! :)

Cash Converters SG review

TLDR (Too long, didn't read):
Don't waste your time selling your items at Cash Converters.

But if you would like to hear my personal recount of my experience, continue reading.

The other day, I gathered all my pre-loved unused items in mint condition, with their boxes, hoping to sell it off at Cash Converters and make some money.

Backtrack: My first experience with them was about 10 years ago if I remember correctly, together with my mum. We sold off a number of items - at an extremely low price. And the way they handled the items were very rough, as though your items are worthless. I would think that a rag-and-bone man would handle your items with much more care.

So I decided to give Cash Converters a second chance - since they last very long despite the existence of online thrift stores like Carousell and Gumtree.

Such a horrible experience it was. Zzz

I was with a full IKEA bag of these items:
- Nikon SB700 Speedlite (external flash)
- SONY Photostation
- Brand New Waterproof Dry case
- 2 tripods, one used, one new
- About 6 teacups and their saucers

- A totally brand new Electronic Door Viewfinder

All in mint condition.

The first item the guy took out to inspect was the tripod. He pulled the tripod leg hard and it actually snapped! Eh thanks eh! Dari tak rosak, the item dah jadi rosak. -.-

Then he took out the Nikon Speedlight.

He noticed it was still in pristine condition. 

It was in its bag, at a 90 degrees angle and dude was trying to adjust the flash to see if the mechanism works (you know, like how he tried to open up the tripod earlier on).

But dude obviously do not know how to operate the flash. *roll eyes

So, he tried his luck with trying to open the battery compartment. Also failed.

Dude. You obviously know nuts about photography, don't you?

I wish I could say that to him, but sis was not well that day.

He kept pressing the "button" to release the lock to the battery compartment, but since dude not cut out for photography, he gave me the "I don't know" hand-sign and quickly wanted to pass me the flash back. Signalling something like the button dah rosak because it just wouldn't budge?

So I opened it up for him and showed him. Then he got a bit embarrassed.

"You think how much you want to sell," he said.

"You think", he added.

"How much do you think this would be?" I tried asking. 

I was ill, so I couldn't be bothered.

"This one, I know when you buy is very expensive ah. But when you sell, it's very cheap. Easily less than $100."

I bought it for $499.

Still working well, and you're telling me, less than $100?

Wait, what?

"Lowest maybe $90-$100?" I tried.

I was a bit reluctant to sell, but I've lugged a whole IKEA bag of items I wish I did not have to carry it back to the car. 

He suggested, "Try sell off at Carousell. Deal would be better".

So, I took back the bag of items he placed on the table (it was a mess k. Dude! You need to be a bit more......proper in handling people's items especially since they weren't sold off, YET!)

I arranged it and kept it into my IKEA bag, and then he proceeded to check my other items.

Next item: 

SONY Photostation.

He typed away (I'm guessing googling) and said "This one ahh... at Carousell, 5 months ago, $40... Nobody buy".

"How much would you take this?"

"Easily $15", he smugged.

Wait, whattt?

"You know ahh... Those print paper kind ah... We only take $15-$30 only. This one.....the ink and the paper ah... Don't know if still got sell or not".

Last I checked, yes, insya'Allah it's still sold because my friend printed hers on it.

But ya, I couldn't be bothered to sell lah eh. So, I packed it back.

He then asked me, "What is this box?" (it was my china bone royalty drinkware).

He took out all the cups and returned me the saucer. 

He charged me a meagre amount of $2 for all the cups.

I couldn't be bothered, so I just accepted as it is.

"You don't want to take the saucer as well?" I offered.

"Oh this one usually doesn't sell off as a set".

Anything you say lah. (By this time I was feeling super lazy already - I wasn't well, remember?).

So I took it back and kept it in my IKEA bag.

He then saw another small tripod, packed nicely.

It was brand new.

He didn't check as he assumed it hasn't been touched.

"$3"

I nodded. Eyes drooping lazy.

"Just tell you first, in case you expect higher", he smirked.

I just gave a slight smile.

He opened my box of new dry case, disposed off the box, checked all the items in it and signalled me a "two" handsign - $2.

I nodded.

Next item: Door viewfinder

I bought it for $75 via Taobao/Ezbuy for my MIL's newly-renovated place. They replaced their old door and needed a viewfinder for their door. (Weird though, their door didn't come with the viewfinder peephole.)

But they eventually got it rectified with the contractor and do not need the viewfinder.

"This one, less than $10, $5", dude quoted.

"What? Cannot laahhh. I bought this for $75 you know! Totally brand new!"

By this time, I feel that this dude is really... something.

I know he's just a staff doing his job lah (roll eyes) but seriously. 

Like what husband whispered to me, "Dorang macam main suka hati sendiri je kasi price".

He then gave a quick smile and tried to explain himself by saying that there is no demand for this and suggested that I should try selling it off online at Carousell.

Dude has got a point, but still, to sell it off below $10, a bit mengarut lah kan?

I obviously took it back.

So while he was keying in in his computer (I'm guessing keying in my receipt), he paused and asked me again how much would I be keen in selling my Speedlight.

"Just now you said lowest $90 ah?"

I nodded. "$90-$100 lah like that"

"Can let me take a look again? I check".

So he took my flash and went behind this door where he check with someone hiding at the back (I'm guessing its their go-to person to valuate the cost of the item and at how much they are willing to buy it).

It took him about 10 minutes. 

Big meeting agaknya nak beli benda ala ni berapa.

After a while, he came out and said, "Ok boss. We don't have stock for this. So we would like to buy. Lowest you said $90 right?"

I nodded.

"Ok. Can let me try this out?"

So he tried with all the batteries he has there.

Dude doesn't know the Speedlight squeeze out a lot of battery juice so he used old batteries, opened batteries. It took him about 15-20 minutes to hunt for a perfectly unopened/unused battery and finally able to test it.

He finally came out and said "Ok. Wah this one must really use the very very new battery ah. I try until I pek ceck (frustrated)".

So I sold the flashlight at $90 - reluctantly.

I know it seems like a "waste" and that I could easily gained more if I had try to sell it off at Carousell. But I was ill and I already niatkan to sell as much as I can and use the gains I received (by selling off my items) to sedekah during Ramadhan.

BOTTOMLINE:

I think the guys at the frontline (the buying department if I can call it) are really not cut out for valuation. The way they value your item... as though they do not cost a thing.

I'd rather donate it/bless to someone who would treasure your items and use it with love, than selling off at Cash Converters. 

NO.

MORE.

CHANCES.

Don't waste time selling your items at Cash Converters.
Also, try not to buy from them especially knowing the way they handle the items. *shrug shoulders

My time will come

Today is Mother's Day, the second one for me.

No biggy tho! :)

But I thought it'll be good to pen my thoughts down so I wont forget this.

Recently, I've been thinking of ways to maximise my savings, or find ways to live life simply, yet splurge on luxuries once in a while...

I've set myself some goals and targets.

Eg. Once my kids reach a certain age, I would like to return to the workforce and help my husband financially.

OR

Save up on one holiday per year so we wont feel strained by parenting and the stresses of life.

OR

Save up and invest on good appliances to help me out with the housechores (laughs)

OR

All of the above? (One can dream right?) Keke.

Of course, with what we are committed to right now, we can't..but insya'Allah, our time will come (aamiin).

// Selits //
I have a wishlist and I needed that extra push on whether I should get that something so I asked my siblings about it and it was a yes...my sister even poked by saying to get it as a Mother's Day gift. Haha. I wishhhhhh.......

But of course, financially, we can't afford it. Not right now...

So I re-evaluated my priorities and asked myself:
- Is it good to have? Yes.
- Is it a must to have? Not really.

So I kinda toned down the topic and told myself, "Nah nevermind....next time then".

I can't be selfish especially since my husband is the sole breadwinner. Technically, I am earning too and I do help him out financially (people actually thought my side income is spent off happily thats why we have nothing left every month. Thanks eh!).

So there is a lot of things I brushed off for myself and buy the necessities for my kids like diapers and Adriaan's formula milk (a part of me would like to push to tandem feed - y'know like pump for him to save money, but idk if im strong/capable enough to do so... By right he doesnt need any BM and can drink fresh milk but yeah his ayah still wants him to drink FM sigh idk lah).

I'm always, always finding ways to cut cost. Like looking for sale opportunities, discounts, ways to save money.

I hope one day my efforts will pay off.

For now, I have to train my heart to be patient - for my time will come. Insya'Allah.

Happy Mother's Day to me, for the second year now. Alhamdulillah.