First Appt with the Physiotherapy

So following the check up on my U-Prolapse as mentioned in this entry here, I had my first Physio therapy session yesterday. Gotta blog about it so I can remember the notes shared by the therapist.

Disclaimer: Please, please... PLEASEEEE read this with an open mind and don't think I take pleasure blogging something so private like this like it's easy to do so. The reason why I'm blogging about this is because I don't see anyone local sharing about Prolapse so if this helps anyone out there who is facing this condition just like me, then yes... I've done my part.
//End of Disclaimer//

So, anywayyy... The automated text sent by KKH stated that I can't be late because its strictly by appointment. Heh. So we reached 15 minutes earlier than the appointment time at the Rehab clinic at KKH and self-registered.

Soon after, I met my therapist. To be honest, I didn't have a high expectation on the session. Haha. I had a feeling it was going to be sub-par by learning on how to do Kegel exercises on the basic level. But I was proven wrong.

I explained to her the series of events that happened in relation to my U-Prolapse episode. It was nice because she responded just like a friend so that made me comfortable (as opposed to a cold response with just "mhmm", "ok", "mhmmm" then make you feel like it's not so serious haha).

The therapist (let's call her M.F.) showed me a picture of the anatomy of the pelvic floor - something like the picture below:

(Credit: Pelvic Floor First)

MF explained that the red coloured "tissue" from the pubic bone all the way to the spine at the coccyx is where the pelvic floor muscles are. It "supports" the urethra, uterus and the rectum. Over time, as we age, the pelvic floor muscle will weaken and it's something that we can't avoid due to wear and tear. But since I am still young, she said I still can do Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles.

MF then showed me on how Kegel exercise works. It's basically like controlling your flatulence, by holding it in? Haha. I checked with her whether is it the same feeling like holding our bladder midstream while pee-ing and MF explained that yes, but it is not recommended to hold our bladder halfway frequently NOT because it weakens the pelvic floor muscles, but because it will cause Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) especially for us women because the length of our urethra is shorter than men. If we hold and stop our pee midstream, the pee that was going to exit, gets sucked back in and it will cause bacteria forming. Ahhh... Baru kakak faham. 

Once that was done, MF did an examination on me to check the severeness of my condition. I told her that I suspected I was a Stage 2 according to articles I read online. Like this one here. But according to my explanations to her, she suspected that my condition is still at Stage 1. 

I lied down on the bed (undergarments off), opened my legs, bent my knees, and followed her instructions to cough once. Followed by a second cough. MF told me that she only sees it descending at the second cough. After which, MF told me to try doing the Kegel exercises to check whether I'm doing it correctly (while still being in the same position). *Awkwardddd O.O

She said I did it correctly the first time, just that I tend to lift my butt slightly up while at it. I was supposed to not lift my butt up at all. Tried again and this time it's corrected. 

The next check was even more....awkward (errrr). She had her surgical glove on, applied some gel on it, apologized (haha errrr) and inserted a finger to know how long am I doing the Kegel exercises for, by asking me to hold it in as long as I can, and feeling my "squeeze". (Can I put on an oversized paper bag over my head already? So embarrassing seh... yeeeeksss).

"1...2...3........18...19...20. Good. Try again"

"1...2...3......14...15.... Okay, you already lose it at 15 seconds but that's good too"

"Yours is a Stage 1". Alhamdulillah. 

Felt relieved that at least my Kegel exercises were corrected, even though embarrassing ah haa..haa... Alhamdulillah. 

MF then continued explaining on modifying the task and chores that I am doing on a daily basis to ensure that it doesn't worsen the condition of my prolapse. She started by telling me that for emptying on bowels, to never squat down to do it. For a person with healthy pelvic floor, this position is good as the intestine is straight down. But for someone with a less healthy pelvic floor, the abdominal mass above the bladder, uterus and the rectum will cause a strain and additional stress plus weight on the pelvic floor and worsen the condition. Wow, something new we all learned huh?

Other than that, she explained that for my case, as I'm of a petite size, currently pregnant and have to carry my son, both weight will add on to the stress on my pelvic floor muscles even more. *sweats drip emoticon* Boohoo. Not my fault seh for being this small size :( Therefore, she taught me on ways on how to modify carrying my son up. 

Since my son is currently sleeping on the tilam laid down on the floor (note to self: baby-proofing post coming up next time insya'Allah), and I'm sleeping on the bed, there'll be times where he cries and I have to carry him up. For this, she explained that I have to have a stool as close as possible to him, and before I carry him, to start doing my Kegel...hold it in...carry him up on my lap, and relaxxxx (my pelvic floor).... Before I stand up while carrying him, I start my Kegel again...hold it in... carry him up and once I'm in a proper standing position, I can relaxxxx.... I cannot do the conventional way of squatting down, carry him up and stand straightaway. It will worsen my condition. Squatting down is a total no-no for now. No jumping, and no running as well. 

MF told me that it will take at least 2 months for me to see results if I do 10 sets (15-20 seconds per set), 3 times a day. I can even split it up to 2 sets, do my work, and continue doing the remaining again later. It doesn't have to be consecutive all 30 sets at one go. Nais!

MF also mentioned that at times when I anticipate a cough/sneeze coming, I should quickly do a quick Kegel exercise to ensure that the pelvic floor muscle is being "squeezed". Noted!

Learned so much in just a session. So so thankful. Alhamdulillah :)

Oh, before we ended the session, I checked with MF to confirm whether it was a Uterus Prolapse and not a Bladder Prolapse, and yes, mine is a Uterus Prolapse. I also checked with her whether it is necessary for me to do the pessary application and she said nope. Phew! At least that is one worry off! :) Mine is considered mild and according to her, prolapse can go as bad as Stage 4 where the whole uterus will slip outside the vagina. That is when surgery is required. Yikes! Naudzubillah min dzalik. 

My next follow up with MF will be in 2 months time, insya'Allah. Since my check up on the 13th of Jun, I have yet to experience another prolapse. Hopefully I'll see improvements in 2 months time. Aamiin. :)

Oh congratulations for reading till the end of my awkward but fruitful session with my therapist. :/ Haha! :)

A new beginning: Renovation of our Humble Abode

So since we have successfully received our house keys back in late December, we have been procrastinating our renovation. We put it on hold because we were too occupied with mending to Adriaan and learning the ropes of becoming new parents. And uhhh... we just didn't know how and where to start. Lol.

Come April, both of us decided to get things moving by deciding on how we should renovate the house according to the decent budget we have. Remember we used up our savings meant for the renovation to pay for the shortfall to HDB? Haa...haaa...haaaaa....

Did a Powerpoint slide document by attaching our floor plan and include pictures from the net that inspired us (or mostly me lah eh - because I design, Mr. J approve/reject).

Disclaimer: Pardon the disorganization of the pictures with improper pixels and such because we were rushing through it. :p

---

Our floor plan:

Our suggested floor plan - construction:

 

LIVING ROOM INSPIRATION

Design of L-Box: 

Suggested width of L-Box:

DINING AREA / KITCHEN AREA INSPIRATION

 

(Credit: 9 Creation)

The other side of the kitchen:

(Credit: 9 Creation)

Marble-like backsplash:

(Credit: Instagram of Cortese Architects)

MBR & COMMON TOILETS

Overlay of floor tiles:

(Credit: www.theblockshop.com.au)

Wash-basin & marble-like table top:

(Credit: http://www.contemporist.com/)

Bi-fold door louvres design for toilets:

BEDROOM DOORS

Classic doors:

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With the Powerpoint "proposal" ready, we dropped an email to 3 companies (Contractors) and only 1 replied. Hahaha! That makes things easier for us, I guess? We didn't really go shopping for other contractors after the reply because... malas? :/ Besides, I think they did a great job with Deeyanah's house.

Steven gave us a quotation and we went through it, taking out some parts of the quotation and letting him know that we do not require them. He didn't insist that we should have them included, which was nice. Of course, we should really know what we want.

We managed to bring the quotation cost down by $3k which I think is not too bad?

At the same time, we had the BSC to rectify the minor defects and then we are good to go :)

Renovation progress will be discussed at the next entry, Insya'Allah... :)

Financing our upcoming home: Part 5 - Key collection (part ii)

So, as per the last entry on my key collection on last Oct 2016 that unfortunately/fortunately did not happened, here we are again at Part Deux of the key collection. If you would like to recall the whole 5 parts, click below:

- Financing our upcoming home: Part 1 - The harsh reality
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 2 - The headache
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 3 - Finding solutions
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 4 - Executing the solution
- Financing our upcoming home: Part 5 - Key collection

If you could recall from my other entry here, HDB only gave us a deferment of only a month after our appeal in November >> 20 Dec 2016. Any later than that, we will have to pay a penalty of (a very nice figure) $2,112 every month until we collect the keys. *shrug shoulders*

Along with the appeal for the deferment of the key collection date, we also received a letter from HDB to reassess the loan according to Mr. J's current salary back then. We thought we do not need to submit the "new" HDB loan form because I still do not have a job. Until the same letter on the deferment mentioned that they would need us to submit the documents (my statutory declaration stating that I'm not working, Mr. J's salary slips and other documents that I can't recall - hey, it's been 6 months since. lol). If they do not receive the documents, they will take it as we do not need the loan.

And so we did as told, and waited.

Our initial HDB Loan amount was around $264K when the both of us were working back in year 2014.
The new HDB Loan amount granted to us after the reassessment was $244K, with only Mr. J's income.
*The figures of the loan has been rounded up/down to protect the confidentiality. 

So we were somewhat still short of money? But it's considered still better than nothing, right? *staying positive*

We calculated and had to dig up our savings that was meant for the house renovation (dry laugh) to pay for the shortfall in cash. :')

Went to the bank and did a cashier's order of whatever the amount we thought we needed to pay HDB.

>>> Fast forward to 20 Dec 2016 >>>

Nervous.

We were worried we couldn't collect our keys - AGAIN. Once bitten, twice shy you know?

I recalled Mr. J making a remark, "Ni kalau tak dapat jugak, dah. Kita give up sudah". Haha. I could somehow sense he was tired with the drama already. But of course, we went into the sales office with lots of do'a, in hopes that we could really really get to collect the keys.

We walked in, and was greeted by a nice kakak Sales Officer, who had our documents, looked at our current CPF balance through her monitor, her calculator and stationery all laid out nicely on her desk.

Mr. J and I threw glances at each other - nervous of the outcome.

She asked to confirm, "Suhailah is currently not working, am I right?" something along those lines. We nodded our head.

She did her calculations.

After she keyed into the system, she keyed into her calculator and showed us the shortfall that we have to pay in cash.

Dang! We were still short of about SGD 1.2K. :O #cuakinprogress

We did not factor in the miscellaneous cost like Stamp fee, Registration Fee, Survey Fee and all the fees yang sewaktu dengannya. *hides face*

"Ermmm... Macam mana eh kalau cashier's ordernya tak cukup?"
"The balance can be topped up by cash".

Phew!

Mr. J then called his helpline (his brother kekeke) for help to transfer some funds and once Mr. J receives his upcoming salary the next day, he'll transfer the funds back to his brother.

Settled the payment. Followed the instructions of going to the different levels to open up our SP Services account and get our home insurance by Etiqa.

And finally, back to the sales office room where we were handed THE KEYSSSS!!!

YES, WE FINALLY RECEIVED THE KEYS IN OUR HANDS!!!

We breathed a huge sigh of relief and went "ALHAMDULILLAHHHH" when the kakak passed the set of keys to us. She smiled and said "Tahniah!" :)

Wow.

Just. Wow.

It was definitely a challenging phase for the both of us just to get to where we were - at that moment!

The stress, the anger, the heading down to MP to appeal along with my big bump, the disappointment when I still couldn't get a job...

All that. Wow.

Really is a test Allah put us through. And I'm glad we got over that phase.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.

To recall that phase again as I'm typing this very entry, makes me feel more assured that if the both of us can go through such a tough time like that together, insya'Allah we can go through anything together.

Alhamdulillah :)

Upcoming blog posts

Putting it up here so that I'll remember to blog about it (well, you better!)

Home related:
- A closure of our key collection last Dec after my last entry here
- Renovation!!

Baby related:
- Baby proofing
- His milestones

Pregnancy related:
- Maybe share about how I find out?
- Maybe share about my journey?
- Maybe share about the differences between my first and second pregnancy?

Recipe related:
- Home made chicken & vegetable stock
- Purées!
- Some new recipes that I've tried along the way and was a success :)

And mayyyybe some blog posts along the way on self-improvements/motivations to keep me going. :)

Wow, quite ambitious eh to state all the upcoming blog posts I intend to talk about. Haha! Insya'Allah!

Jia you, me! May I find the time to share about each and every one of them :)

On a quest: Eczema part ii

It has been a long time since I do an update regarding the progress of my son's eczema. I feel I should.

Been really busy, you see. :p (New respect to all mummy bloggers - Where did you get all that time man! #SALUTE)

So cut long story short, as per the previous entry on eczema got me trying out recommendations by mummies by the Facebook group page SG 2016 Mummys.

The first ever wash & moisturizer combo that I tried was Cetaphil Restoraderm. This was the second popular one as compared to Physiogel AI Cream. The reason why I chose this was due to the fact that there is also the wash for his bath time. So at least it could sort of reduce the inflammation on his skin, I think?

So as usual, we put the wash and moisturizer to a test.

BEFORE: His whole body has spots which looked like ringworm/discoid eczema. Like patches of it all over his body.

Diligently slather moisturizer over him every. other. hour (I am serious!) and saw improvements. Of course no moisturizer works like magic so we saw improvements like in a matter of days.

The more we applied, the more it showed improvements on his skin.

Alhamdulillah.

There are days that his eczema will flare up - think days where the weather is unforgiving-ly humid, or if his face get into contact with clothing that has not been washed/washed with adult laundry detergent.

Eczema sufferer's skin is pretty sensitive. To be honest, I don't hate him having eczema because it teaches me to be patient? But I hate explaining to overly-concerned strangers/people on days that his face flares up. 

It's like when I go to Point A, a stranger asks. To Point B, another stranger asks. It can be very very annoying to have to face the same questions by different people many times in a day. But through this episode, I have learned to filter away the questions I choose not to hear and answer. Eg. When people ask "What's wrong with his face? Why is it red?" I'll just smile and look away. I don't think I have to answer your question if I don't feel like it. 

Or like the other day where this makcik actually made an effort to catch my attention by waving at me continuously. And when I turned to look at her, she dropped the question. "Asal muka dia merah?" Waaaa sanggup eh, cik lol. Wave hand bagai just to catch my attention and then ask a question like that.

Did I answer her? Nope, I did not. I chose not to. I smiled and looked away. I feel that it's not any of her concern and not like it bothered her anyway.

Eczema is an uncomfortable condition to go through and to see your son scratching his face and his body parts till it bleeds, can be really painful to witness. It only takes one to go through to know.

I hope your immune system gets stronger and you'll grow out of eczema, just like what people said. (Although I know lahhh some people say "Eczema can't be cured", but we can always hope right?) :)

Something new

It's about 4am in the morning and I'm done with cooking sahur for the day.

Since there is still some time till I wake Mr. J up, Imma share with you about something that happened to me.

On the 5th of June last week, I experienced something different happening to my body. In short, I think I had a prolapse. (Click on the link to view how it is).

The reason why I'm sharing this is because I realise not many Asians share about this? The forums I read are more to Caucasian women. I am not sure whether it's a culture thing (because Asians are more conservative?) or it generally happens only to Caucasian women.

So on the eve of my birthday, we made our way to KKH to do a check up on the suspected prolapse. Turned out when they did their check on me, the supposed prolapse "went back in". It could be that it went back in because the waiting time was quite a while *laugh*

Mr. J and I explained to the doctor and nurse on duty that it really happened and that something was out. But we had no picture to show them... so they couldn't diagnose me proper and we left home "empty handed".

The doctor did explain to me that prolapse generally happen to older women because their pelvic muscle weakens over time OR to women who had gone through multiple vaginal births. It can happen to women of my age, but very rare... Oh well... What could it be, then?

During the week till my next appointment on the 13th, I did some Kegel exercises following the instructions I got from the internet, but it doesn't seem effective on me. I am not sure whether I am doing it correctly as of now but I feel that the situation improved when I'm on full bed rest.

There are days I had no choice but to carry my 8.6kg son (ringan betul dia haha), and do the house chores. Those are the days where I could feel it descending down, but not exactly "out".

Until on the eve of my appointment date on the 12th.

That particular day we were out to our new home (Reno has started weee!!) and we sent off my parents and sister off to Umroh. And night time to Tan Tock Seng to visit Mak. So there was a whole lot of walking.

Went home, cleaned up, and yes, hello there - it came out again!

Of course this time we managed to snap a picture so I could show the doctor on duty for my appointment the next day.

Doctor did some checks and confirmed that its a uterus prolapse. Suspected to be caused by my previous childbirth. (Alhamdulillah, at least it wasn't a growth).

She suggested to either:
- Meet up with Physiotherapist to learn on how to strengthen my pelvic muscles the correct way
OR
- Meet up with Gynecologist that specializes in this area and insert a pessary (some sort of a rubber ring) to hold it in place. It is non surgical so it is highly recommended for women of my age/women who are currently pregnant/women who would like to have more children.

We ended up taking both her suggestions as I feel I may need the pessary application for this pregnancy.

Cobaan for me for this pregnancy but Insya'Allah all will be well.

On a side note, I remember reading an entry by a sister who feels sad that it seems very easy for other women to get pregnant (she is currently on a TTC journey). I don't blame her for feeling so. I know that feeling.

But I just would like to say that, even though it may seem "easy" for other women to get pregnant, it may not be an easy journey during their pregnancy. We may not show to people what we are going through during the pregnancy. All people could see are the beautiful rosy pictures of women with a beautiful bump. But behind all the beauty, are trials that we go through, not everyone know of. :(

My previous pregnancy with Adriaan - bleeding now and then. Even got hospitalised for it.
My current pregnancy with this baby - Uterus prolapse.

I take it that Allah nak kasi pahala extra, insya'Allah.

For all the sisters that still yearn for a child, my prayers are with you. May you be able to experience a beautiful life growing inside of you soon. Aamiin. <3

Husnudzonbillah

A lot of things have been on my plate recently. Some are great, some are...trials (or gifts) from The Almighty. 

In the past entry, I mentioned that I think I was having a depression. 

I think I did...

I cried for a few days, feeling really worn out. Did not enjoy the pregnancy. Did not enjoy having Adriaan around me. I chose to keep it to myself....

And then I snapped. 

It wasn't a great feeling. 

I tried to talk to Mr J but he has been really occupied of late - I don't blame him. 

Our beloved mak has been diagnosed with cancer...... and it changes the whole dynamic of how we spend our life...in a good way, insya'Allah. 

Although it's tough to swallow, but we are supporting mak every step of the way. 

Recently, a young boy aged 4 has passed away due to the same type of cancer mak has been diagnosed with. I know the news will somehow reach her... I told Mr. J about it and soon after, when he had his daily call with mak that night, she told him about the boy who passed away. :(

Anyway, despite all that, I had a talk with Mr. J and he apologized to me for being really occupied with work and extra duties that he neglected his small family - and me. 

I felt slightly better after that. Alhamdulillah. 

And then something unexpected happened. 

About 1st of Jun, I received a text message from Ninja Van saying that I will be expecting to receive a parcel from Charles and Keith later that day. I honestly believed it was a case of wrong number because c'mon, I know my husband. He don't do surprises. It's just not him. 

I wanted to call Ninja Van to report of this mistake only to find out that it's actually an advance birthday gift from my friends. :')

On top of that, I was pleasantly surprised and touched when both Rafsie and Mrs. F opened an account with AMGD for me. May Allah reward the both of you tenfolds. Aamiin aamiin aamiin. It's really something I did not expect. (They didn't know my birthday was the next day hahaha!) 

There's something else that happened to me but I shall leave that to the next entry, insya'Allah. 

To sum it up, these events that happened made me realise apa yang jadi adalah KuasaNya and that whatever happens in this world is temporary. 

Our sadness is temporary. My depression was temporary. 

Today, you may feel like you have failed. 
But tomorrow, Allah will make you feel like you're whole again. 


Alhamdulillah atas segala sesuata. <3