A recent event that happened motivated me to draft a new entry regarding changes after marriage.
Nope, not the typical change that you find after you're married but the kind of change on who should you listen to vs when you were single.
Drawing example(s) from personal experience/encounter;
I know of someone who longed to be married, not because she was getting older in age but because she wanted freedom from her family. In her opinion, she finds that her family is strict, has too much curfews and restrictions in terms of mixing with the opposite gender. She finds that a marriage is a quick and fast ticket to escape from the family.
And so, she got married.
She was still a rebel in terms of how she converse, despite coming from a strict family. She was liberal in the way she talks. She doesn't find that of all these are "wrong".
I wanted to correct that so I talked to her and only to receive a reply with vulgarities spewing all over. She replied that she only listens to her husband and nobody else. Sad as I was, I thought her husband could give her some advice, only to be proved otherwise. Her husband is one who carries the same character as her.
At that moment, I told myself, to not intervene in others' life despite him/her being an immediate family. I always told myself that he/she will change for the better - to husnudzon. But the more I chose not to care, the more I see her using vulgarities in public like its her second nature.
I feel like I'm not doing a good job for my parents.
I feel like I'm not being a good sister.
I am worried if God will hold me accountable for not correcting her mistakes.
But then again, in Islam, they say if you can't correct someone with an advice, it is enough to hate their action and make do'a for them - you won't be held accountable. Insya'Allah.
I think it is best I just take care of my husband, my parents and my future kids and let my siblings mend their own errors - for I too have my own errors to fix.
:(
Nope, not the typical change that you find after you're married but the kind of change on who should you listen to vs when you were single.
Drawing example(s) from personal experience/encounter;
I know of someone who longed to be married, not because she was getting older in age but because she wanted freedom from her family. In her opinion, she finds that her family is strict, has too much curfews and restrictions in terms of mixing with the opposite gender. She finds that a marriage is a quick and fast ticket to escape from the family.
And so, she got married.
She was still a rebel in terms of how she converse, despite coming from a strict family. She was liberal in the way she talks. She doesn't find that of all these are "wrong".
I wanted to correct that so I talked to her and only to receive a reply with vulgarities spewing all over. She replied that she only listens to her husband and nobody else. Sad as I was, I thought her husband could give her some advice, only to be proved otherwise. Her husband is one who carries the same character as her.
At that moment, I told myself, to not intervene in others' life despite him/her being an immediate family. I always told myself that he/she will change for the better - to husnudzon. But the more I chose not to care, the more I see her using vulgarities in public like its her second nature.
I feel like I'm not doing a good job for my parents.
I feel like I'm not being a good sister.
I am worried if God will hold me accountable for not correcting her mistakes.
But then again, in Islam, they say if you can't correct someone with an advice, it is enough to hate their action and make do'a for them - you won't be held accountable. Insya'Allah.
I think it is best I just take care of my husband, my parents and my future kids and let my siblings mend their own errors - for I too have my own errors to fix.
:(
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