Am I the only one feeling this way?

I don't know if its the right time to express my thoughts.

But ever since I found out I am pregnant, I don't seem to enjoy it. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed.

I started getting all angry and frustrated when Adriaan doesn't sleep at night.

Please don't start with all the preaching of accepting this as a blessing because yes I constantly remind myself that I should be feeling happy that I am given this gift of another human growing inside of me, but at the same time, I feel like I am going through this alone.

I don't know if you can call it depression?

I've been screaming at Adriaan when he pisses me off and I know it's not good or healthy. But at this point, I just can't seem to control my temper.

I think I need a time out.

I think I really do :(

I'm extremely exhausted. Sigh.

Don't like feeling all negative like this but I really needed an outlet. :(

After 5 months...

/Backdated to 26 Apr 2017/

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...its round number 2. All over again. 

Pregnant, for the second time (technically third, but you get the drift). 

I will leave the story of how I found out to another entry (if I do have the time). Tonight calls for another entry that I needed to let it out of my chest. 

It's 1.15am and my son finally FINALLY stopped crying and screaming. He had been on it for about 15 minutes, enough to drive my hormones skyrocketing mad. 

Tried all means to calm him down (sucks that the husband is on night shift because hey, if he is around, at least we can - you know - take turns) but he still went on crying and screaming. 

Tried the usual of holding his hands and tapping him softly to sleep, but he still continued crying. What happened next really got me raging mad. He started kicking in frustration and unknowingly aimed for my tummy. 

Okay, that's enough, Mister!

I started getting really angry and shouted at him. It was painful, alright. He continued screaming. I tried switching on the aircon to calm him down but he went on and on. At one point, I swear I had wanted to take the remote control of the airconditioner and "shut him up". But of course I did not.

Tears streamed down my face. I scooped him up onto my lap, and carried him standing. I cried and cried and cried. Kissed him and apologized for having such (evil) thoughts. 

Felt really lousy then. :'( What kind of a mother am I?

Damn those hormones got the better of me. 

Surprisingly, he stopped crying then. Alhamdulillah. :')

Mummy promise to play and spend more time with you before your adik comes along ok? Because by then, I'll have to split my time equally if not more between the both of you. I'll hope you understand, even though you'll insya'Allah be just one when he/she comes along. 

I love you, sayang, with all of my heart. <3

On a quest: Eczema

It's been really dusty here. Really respect mummies who find the time to blog on their LO's milestones. If only I have the drive (and time) to do so. #alasan haha.

Anyways, the reason I blog tonight (at 1:46 am SG time) is to document my son's eczema-prone skin problems that I decided to address it earlier yesterday and my oh my, the drafts I have that wasn't posted :p
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#distractions

Will leave it there till I have time to complete them entries yeah. For now, let's skip to priorities.

I posted the picture below in this FB group - SG 2016 Mummy's page:

We have tried the following according to this picture, along with the entry as quoted below:

- California Baby Calendula Cream

- Emulsifying Ointment BP

- Sebamed Facial Cream

- Baby's Sensitive Skin Salve by Essentials for Q

- Sudocrem Skincare Cream

- Magic Jelly for Baby

- Ezerra Cream

- Bepanthen

- Tea bag given by hub's colleague

- Diprobase Cream 

- EVCO

Hi mummies. My son (gonna turn 5 months soon) has quite a bad eczema-proned skin - on his face, at the folds of his skin, and on his body. Here's the number of products we bought and tried after seeing similar pictures of mummies posted with their LO's skin condition. 

Eczema is hereditary as we heard so from the PD. 

We also tried oat milk bath and mild steroid creams prescribed by the hospital (but my husband doesn't want to be too reliant on it so we stopped).

We realised his skin is much better when he's in an airconditioned place so we had to switch on the aircon in our room day and night. But wow, the bills.😅😅 And it doesn't really help once we are out of home cz he'll flare up again.

Any mummies has any Skin Specialist for baby or other product-recommendations? Thank you in advance!

 And the response has been OVERWHELMING! One love, mummies! <3

Eczema is hereditary. If you or your husband has it in the past, or right now, high chances your LO might get it too. Of course, we can only hope that our LO doesn't inherit this part of our genes. I mean, who wants to see their LO scratching all over and bleed right? </3

Before I share what other mummies have recommended, I shall be fair and share what I have tried on my son for future references.

1. California Baby Calendula Cream, bought it for SGD 49.90:

It's rather scented. Although very moisturizing, it doesn't work for my son.

2. Emulsifying Ointment BP:

This belongs to my husband since he has eczema. We tried this on my son, but didn't work on him as well.

3. Sebamed Facial Cream, can't remember how much we bought it for. Should be $20 plus?

This was the first ever cream we purchased for our son when he was a newborn. But eczema doesn't show until later and this cream no longer works well.

4. Baby's Sensitive Skin Salve

Saw no improvements :(

5. Sudocrem Skincare Cream - I think we bought it for less than SGD 10? 

We thought it helped cz his skin got better? But it has to go really dry till it gets better and Mr. J is not up for the idea cz dry skin is so uncomfortable for Adriaan :(

6. Magic Jelly for Baby by Lovera. I think we bought it for $29 for 1 bottle?

Verdict: Totally no improvements at all :(

7. Ezerra Cream - 1 tube of 50gm costs $33.90 iirc

The one that is most suitable for him but we have to spam the cream like buttercream on a cake. It does help to moisturize, but then again, his skin never improves.

8. Bepanthen - about less than SGD 10?

Works really well for his diaper rash (if any), but doesn't work for his eczema. 

9. Tea bag - FREE as it's given by my hub's colleague :p

Currently trying these out and see how it goes.

10. Diprobase Cream - FREE as it's given by my hub's colleague :p

Currently trying this out but doesn't seem to work?

11. EVCO - bought this since I was pregnant for my consumption.

At first it worked for him, but then his skin flare up again. :(

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There are a lot of comments received by mummies, sharing all sorts of wash, creams, moisturizers they have used on their LO. Some even sent me a private message to share with me that their LO is currently going through the same thing. So much love! <3

To the babies going through this ordeal, as mummies, we can't bear to see you like that. Flaky dry skin, scratches all over, weeping, bleeding of skin. We will stop at nothing to ensure that you get better soon <3

Insya'Allah I will try to share the other products that the mummies recommend some other time cz the boy just woke up for his feed. O.O