Me-Time

Being with a baby at home 24/7 has made me turn into this...person who wants her me-time badly whenever her husband comes home from work.

But everytime he comes home, he gets to lock himself up in the bathroom, sit on the toilet bowl, use his handphone and have his own me-time. It can be as long as an hour. Sometimes, I don't even know that he's home until I sent him a "Where are you?" text and he replies saying that he's already in the bathroom -.-

Heyyy... Even I don't get that luxury!

Whenever I use the toilet, I have to leave it open because a boy full of tears will come crawling and watch me do whatever I am doing on the toilet bowl. There is never a peaceful me-time. There's alwayssss an audience. I also now understand what it means to hide myself and enjoy my snack because I can never eat in front of him - Adriaan will crawl as fast as a lightning, rest both his hands on my thigh and stare at the food, waiting for me to offer him. Of course I can't, because its adult snacks (think: Twisties, cheese rings - you know all the salty stuff heh).

So there was this one fine day when my husband came home from work and did the norm. Took his towel, closed the door, used his handphone and enjoyed his me-time. During the first 5 minutes of his time in there (I swear even I don't get my own 5 minutes of peace like he does #unfair), I opened the bathroom door and told him, "Please be fast and don't take your own sweet time", and closed the door back while he is still seated in the bathroom, using his handphone. You know, gotta be understanding because he brings "food on the table".

As I made my way to the kitchen, I thought... "Ok, no. This is unfair". Yeah, its one of those days I refuse to give in. So I went back to the bathroom door, pushed it open, confiscated his phone and told him, "Sorry, this is a luxury that I don't even get to enjoy". Of course he struggled to give me his phone but I succeeded and then I heard him utter some grumbling. But right after that, I could hear the sound of the shower. *Mission to get him to not waste any time in the bathroom - accomplished*

Call it a resentment or anything you want. But sometimes, you just wish men can be a bit more...(sorry my brain refuse to work at this hour #timecheck; 3:40am).

I know it is tiring for him at work and he wants that me-time to decompress. But hey, at least he has that hour journey home in the bus to do so whereas for me, its Adriaan twenty-four-seven round the clock.

So, Mr Husband. I am sorry when you see me at home catching up on Lion Mums or playing Bubble Mania on my phone. Like you, I just need my me-time and the best time to do it is...only when you're around. :) Otherwise, its just me, the never ending housechores, a hyperactive Adriaan who messes up the room, and an active baby in my tummy.

May we be given strength to go through this

As we make our way to the hospital now (yes, I am blogging through my phone #catchingup), I just wanna say how amazed I am with my husband at times.

It doesn’t matter when he comes home from work. Be it after his day or night shift, he will make it a point to call his Mum and ask about her well being or rest for a while and make his way to the hospital just to accompany her and give her the support she needs.

I can tell how tired he is at times, but to him, being tired is not his priority as long as he gets to spend as much time as he can with his Mum. Such an amazing man you are. I am not sure if I can have such strength to go through that.

Sometimes, when his Mum is back at her home, he will ask what she feels like eating and will go and buy it for her right after his night shift and ensure she gets to eat well.

The love he has for his Mum. :’)

I have to admit that as much as I need his attention during this pregnancy (pregnancy is not easy ya), I have to understand and brave through this period. There are times where I have to be left alone at home, managing Adriaan while he is out at the hospital, accompanying his mum. There is this particular period where Adriaan was down with diarrhoea for about 3 weeks and that would mean changing of his diapers about 8-10 times a day. It was nightmare because everytime I bend down to change his diaper, my tummy would hurt a little, because I can’t squat due to my condition. Nevertheless, it had to be done anyway.

I pray that Allah will grant us strength to go through this difficult period and recovery for my mother in law. In addition, I pray that Allah grant my husband His Highest Paradise for all the things that he does for his mum. Not everyone is willing to do what he does. And for that, I really respect this man a lot. <3

Thank you Allah for loaning this man to be my husband.

Wisdom in the Quran

Last weekend, I attended a Duola Workshop held at Jalan Sultan. Cut long story short (I might share about the birth talk in another blog post should time permits. Insya'Allah), one of the topics covered was wisdom from Allah in the Quran via surah Maryam.

Maryam A.S. (Radi Allahu anha) was not touched by any man and had conceived Nabi Isa (PBUH) and she even went through labour alone, without anyone beside her. No husband, no midwife, no doula - absolutely no one.

Masya'Allah.

The strength of a woman.

Which brings me to the next point.

Few weeks ago, we agreed to let my mum look after Adriaan when I'm in labour so Mr. J can be with me in the labour ward. But after what happened last weekend - my Dad fed Adriaan a huge spoonful of ice cream, with the ice cream given by my mum, and that caused Adriaan to itch all over his legs till it bleeds tsk - we decided that they are not the best Caregivers around. Whyyyy do grandparents do things against the parents' wishes?!! I already told my parents 101 times that Adriaan has food allergy and it still falls on deaf ears. My Dad could still crack a joke and asked Adriaan whether the ice cream was tasty. -.- Seriouslyyyyy....

So anyway, the next best alternative is to be in labour with Mr. J outside at the waiting area with Adriaan until I have safely delivered.

If Maryam could do it alone, insya'Allah, I'll be able to do it too. Aamiin.

Note to self: You need to EAT!

Remember the other time I mentioned that my mum bought us some ready-made paste and food so that I've always something to eat?

My mum and I had a talk recently. Everytime Mr. J is on day shift (which meant I'll be alone for 12 hours with Adriaan at home), my mum would pack some food on her way home and drop by my place to pass it to me - just to ensure I have my stomach filled. Fact; if she don't do that, I'll most probably be left starving for the whole day until Mr. J comes home from work (which will be around 8.30~9pm-ish).

Looking at the situation, my mum suggested that we only shift to our new place next year before Ramadhan instead of beginning of 2018 (which was what Mr. J and I planned to - because its not good to leave the home vacant for too long ya). Her reason was that since the place I'm currently staying in, is closer to hers - it would be much easier to send food to me, compared to my new place which is much much further.

Background: Even though my new place is located at Hougang, it's the further part of Hougang whereas my sister's place (Buangkok) is closer to my parent's place.

"Baru satu anak je kau dah tak makan. Nanti ada lagi satu lagi. Kau ingat senang eh nak jaga dua anak?"

K. Mums say the darndest things but the kind where it knock some sense into you. lolol.

So I've been brainstorming on the easiest way to prepare home-cooked food. You know, proper food so I don't starve and risk getting gastric all over again.

I asked Mr. J on his opinion on what's the easiest approach that I can have proper food, and his answer was "I bought biscuits... bread... eat that lah". "Ermm no, you don't understand. If I'm gonna try breastfeeding again, I'll need to have proper food. The part reason my supply dipped is that I don't eat well. I noticed that my supply dipped after my confinement food supply ended".

Of course I can't expect him to understand that, because he's a man, right? Sigh.

Even though I have blended garlic, red onion and ginger to make cooking efficient, I guess it's not enough yet. I planned to do frozen food packs, but the prep work behind all the frozen food pack will take the whole day and looking at how occupied Mr. J is now, with running to and fro from the hospital, his back to back events, it wont turn out well.

I guess another approach that I'll try is:
To cook whatever gravy or soup the night before, have it refrigerated, and then at the same time, thaw the frozen poultry/seafood and then continue the final part of cooking the next day?

Ok, will try that - insya'Allah.

Hopefully this is much better? Please make this work, dear me. You need to EAT!

On a related note, I really wonder how other (super)mums do it... Hmmmm...